End of 2010

31st December 2010,

People often say, the end of something is the beginning of another.

So, yeah. Many things happened during this year.

Study (or career) wise,

I've taken 2 major exams (AS and A2), applied and gotten an interview from Cambridge, and scored 8.0 for IELTS. I've gotten an admirable result for AS even though I've asked for more. Come to think of it, 3As and 2Bs ain't that bad. I've gone through sleepless nights and some of those nights that I would've just dozed off out of exhaustion. I've experienced fear and anxiety during exams, broke down due to stress, regained my strength, fought for the result I want and finished my college life!

Family wise,

I'm finally back at home from KL. Truthfully, there's nothing better than home. I'm reunited with my family. It's back to the same old days where mom would nag us just about anything. The bond between my family members got closer. Mom and dad somehow enjoys watching movie in the cinema. We do have small fights every now and then. But hey, that's the spice in a family! I love my family. =D

Relationship (guy and girls) wise,

Well, lets just put this short - I loved a girl, given up, like another, given up and got hooked, loving it. For the (just) friends part, yeah, I'm not gay. But I've awesome experience with some of the guys back in college (especially Jian, Kev and dumb boy). Besides, my classmates are just great! Love them all and sad to leave them. Its great knowing all of you! You guys have been there for the thin and thick. =)

To sum things up.

2010 happened to be a very entertaining year for me. I've gone through changes and gained experience. Its a great year and hopefully 2011 will be better. Time is up to bid 2010 a farewell! Hello 2011! New challenges await us! Let's roll!

Finding Oneself

Have you ever "lost" someone who is here?

I mean not physically. Its just as if the person is no longer the one you know and cherish? Chances are high - people changes and God knows how they would change. The change can be big or small, physically, mentally or behaviorally.

Sometimes, these changes bring big effects.

As scary as it sounds like, the changes is inevitable. For instance, one might begin to use foul words as they grow up. Like how and artist would describe; everyone is a sheet of paper and every drop of ink changes the whole picture. Some brings joy, some anguish, and some remains in the same phase.

Some would try to "find themselves".

Some wouldn't bother to care. But who exactly is this "oneself"? How can this be "lost" if you don't even know what it is? How can you "find" something that you are not sure of? Indeed, we need to know what is lost before finding it. Perhaps this is the crux for such grotesque situation.

How can one be helped when he denies help?

People who have lost themselves often claim that they can no longer find the old self. Albeit, they didn't allow people to help identifying the problem and work things out. People around us are those who know best about us. If there are any changes, they are the first to notice. Try talk to them and find out what is really "lost". We need to take the bull by its horn.

Besides, who would be more willing to help than people closest to you?

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These same people are those who cares most about you.

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These same people want to see the best of you.

..

...

Yet, you shut them out.

..

...

Leaving silence in both world.

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And desolation remains in the heart.

Christmas Eve

I'm not a Christian.

But I do enjoy some of the Christian celebrations with Christmas being one of them. Each Christmas eve, I would attend some functions or parties. This year, however, I never attend any of those but just simply spend the night drinking (tea, bubble tea to be exact) with some of my friends. It was better than functions and parties.

There were 7 of us.

Saiful, Li Ann, Kaev, Jamie, Qi Ting, Eugene and me. It was a random yumcha plan by Jamie and we called whoever (we think) in Kuantan. Chatted quite some time from 9.30pm to 12pm. It was quite fun to actually sit down and talk with them. We were even shooed away from the shop because its already past closing hour. =..="...

With Kaev having to wait for his dad to fetch,

I invited Li Ann and him to chill out at my house. So, there we were. Talking bout college life, our past times and stuff regarding Christianity (yeah, I'm interested in discussing bout religion). Li Ann really surprise me (again, first time being F5 when she suddenly turned from serious to wacky). This time, she have become Muscle Ann...Her biceps are bigger than mine. =..="...

We chilled till 1.30am.

First time having friends over till so late. It was cool having friends to talk. Especially old ones. This is definitely one of the better Christmas eves I've ever gone through. Its good to have old friends. OLD is GOLD. Too Bad Kayu and Chibi are not around. Merry Christmas guys. =D

Of Taxi Drivers

Have you ever met ridiculous taxi drivers and mat rempits with a few loose nuts?

In case of taxi, this happened to me yesterday when I was going back "home" after my IELTS exam. They have all sorts of excuses to get extra pay.

I was at Perkeliling Bus station and was about to go back "home" at Jalan Ipoh, which is just down the road. So, my friend and I approached the first taxi; the driver refused to fetch us. Then we moved on to the second; the driver act blur and said he is not sure where. Third and most outrageous cab; the driver demanded double the normal price. His reason? Driver 3: "I've been waiting here for 30 minutes. No customer." What the f***? Is that even our fault? Go die please.. We were on the verge of giving up and my friend was about to call for help from friends. However, I decided to give a try to ask the fourth cab. Fortunately, the driver uses his meter.

On board the cab, we chatted with the driver named Zul.

Zul asked us why the 3 cars refused to fetch us. We told him the situations. Zul was really one of the better taxi drivers around town. He criticized the other 3 drivers. Zul: "Tu lah, kita semua pemandu taxi dapat nama busuk sebab driver macam dia orang lah. Mau potong sama customer. Apalah kaitan dengan kamu dia tunggu 30 minit? Itu salah dia tak nak ambik customer." We chatted during the whole journey. Zul even advised us to not support those drivers by snubbing them and taking taxis with meter. He really showed that there is still some responsible taxi drivers in Malaysia.

Dec~

Like what people usually says,

December is the month where you sums up everything you've done. Evaluate the good and bad. Listing your acchievements and perhaps set new goals for the coming year. Indeed, many people loves December(based on their posts on Facebook), I don't know why.

December seems to be just another month in the calendar.

The very fond memories of this month is the holidays(except those taking SPM, STPM, Diploma,etc). Each year, we can enjoy one and half month of school holiday which actually makes us rot and want to go school earlier. That's human - wanting to go on holidays during school days and wanting to go school when its holiday.

I had a good year I must say.

I've done many things. Some are good, some bad, some just for the fun of it. However, time pass really fast when you enjoy it. Without noticing, my time at TARCollege have come to an end and I've departed with many of my friends. Looking back, we had gone through a really good time.

I've score fairly well in AS.

Done what I can to get myself an interview with Cam. Get myself involved in basketball competitions. Got myself attached. Went Penang and Ipoh. And many more that I've yet to list. Hopefully my plans can go on smoothly. =)

Simon Ho My Brother

"Simon Ho My Brother"

I've given this post the name based on the new movie "Bruce Lee My Brother".

Like the movie, this post is a special post just for my eldest brother, Simon Ho Sau Man. Today is his 27th birthday.

In a blink of an eye,

you've gone through so much. From a rich boy to a troubled student to a alcoholic to a family man to who you are today. Its been almost 10 years since you've given up your future for the sake of this family - giving up architecture course and started working at 19 when our family is in deep crisis.

Perhaps, without you, I might not be who I am today.

Some people might say you've given up studying because you've lost interest in studies. But two months ago, while I was packing up the stuff in the store room, I saw your course work. It is hard to believe that you've lost interest in it. Your writing and drawings are much better than what I could've imagine. Those work are from your heart and soul. Is that "lost of interest"?

Screw what others think about you.

You will are and will always be one of my best motivation in life. I remember you said while we were on the way to Terengganu for your Rocket soy sauce sales, "I don't hope much. Just hope you guys(Kyle, Sam and I) study well". That will stay in my heart forever.

Perhaps you've given up in many things including life.

You've done many things that broke our hearts. But you've suffered, maybe too much. You spilled many things when you were drunk. Nobody realise that. I do. You're the best man next to dad. I thank God for bestowing me with a brother like you. I could never possibly repay what you've sacrificed. Thank you for being there.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Hopefully we've gone through the hardest of trial and tribulations.

Photos courtesy of Sam.

Ipoh-Penang Trip

Just came back to KL after goin to Ipoh and Penang for class trip...

It was fun. Full of laughter and craziness. However, this is just a short post bout it. Gotta collect all the photos before going for the details.

The trip from Kuantan to Ipoh is really tiring.

The next time I go Ipoh, Imma stay at KL first. Took 8 hours to reach. Freaking. Sit until my butt hurts. Slept at Jian's place and missed the Nga Choi Kai session... ><

Woke up at 7 the next day to eat dim sum.

Then took off to Penang. It was not very long to travel from Ipoh to Penang. We stayed at Gurney hotel. The place was nice, with swimming pools, a beach volleyball courst, table tennis and gym. The best thing is, its dirt cheap! 200 bucks shared by 1,2,3,4...15 people! Less than 20 bucks per day. But some of us gotta sleep on the floor lo...

We did a lot of stuff at Penang.

Words can't describe how its like for some. Wait for the photos. =P We visited very few places but ate awful lot of food.. Had laksa, kuey tiow, cendol, many many la.. All thanks to Pei Chin's cousin who bring us around. =D

After the trip, Piak Piak even send a Swan to deliver us ham sap kai (salted Chi Gein)... =P

Kev and Mun Hoong was like scavengers . Nonetheless, the chicken died for some value. Now that I'm alone at hostel, kinda miss all of them. Hope everyone will do fine in the future and we can hang out some time.

ps; I'll be back for the Nga Choi Gai and be friends with Max(Jian's tiny angry dog)

TARC - End of another chapter in life

Time really do flies...

Especially when you start to enjoy what you're doing. Without realising, its been 1 1/2 year since I've set my foot on the grounds of TARC. Little to regret about but whole lot new experiences rushed into my tiny pocket aka the icky gooey lump beneath my skull.

Coming here with no friends at all was real tough.

The first few days was really sickening. Lucky me, I've met a few people who happens to stay somewhere near my place. Slowly after that, I get more and more friends here. Even some from Diploma! Gotta say, TARC is not as bad as they say.

We do have a lot of "cina apeks" and speaks "cina" all the way.

But hey, we have some of the brightest students here too! Finger pointing at myself... =P Nah, joking... But its true that some of the people here are smart asses, minus the command in English. The thing is, even when we are all Cinas, we don't mind having Melayu and India join us in our studies.

Just as we get to know everyone more,

the time factor kicks in. We are going to depart already. Sad case... Well, at least we have fond memories being together, doing crazy things, chilling and just laugh our asses out loud. I'll never forget all of you.

Thanks for being in my life.

We have crossed each other's path and may never return to this junction, but I know there are these "cool" people in my life once...

Good luck in your life la! =D

Cambridge Interview

Okay, first of all, this post are way old news...

I was suppose to post this but didn't really want people to know bout it yet. But what the heck... Here I am, posting bout this because its an experience not be forgotten. Was really cool and panicky thing being there and doing it.

Cambridge Admission Interview

Date: 22nd October 2010 (Friday)

Venue: Sunway College

Time: 10.30 a.m.

Interviewer: Dr. Vis Ravaratnam

FIRST IMPRESSION

Like any others would do on an interview,

I bought myself a silver tie, dressed in a black/dark blue striped Padini shirt, white Padini khakis (My family likes to shop at Padini, I don't know why) and black Lois leather shoes. Colour contrast, works most of the time. It was quite some time since the last time I dressed up formally. Its nice to do so.

Luckily I've got friends staying/ studying at Sunway.

I've got a free driver/ tour guide to bring me around the college.

Thanks Christine!!! =DDD

So, I went all the way from TARC to Sunway via LRT. (Wangsa Maju>Kelana Jaya)

Got Chris to pick me up with her red Toyota Swift... (Sunway students = rich people =P)

We reached earlier than the interview time and Chris brought me to their library which apparently allows anyone to go in as long as you look like a student. After a while, I went to the 'waiting room' to wait for my turn to the interview.

10.10 a.m.

The lady-in-charge of the interview asked me to go to the sits outside the interview room and wait for my turn. Apparently there is a guy who missed out the interview time. I just sat there and look through the magazines on the coffee table to burn the time. Saw the other guy in the interview room with Dr. Vis talking and the guy showing all sorts of hand languages. (It helps to describe stuff I suppose) I was telling myself this, 'No panic!'...

10.20 a.m.

The guy in the room stands up and got out the room. Finally, my turn...

Dr. Vis is certainly have a very demanding figure - tall, big Sri Lankan man with a stern yet friendly face. He got a coarse voice which probably due to the extensive hours of interviews. Like any other interviewers, he is the man who finds flaw in your personal statements and make it a weapon of his to see what you've got to get into his university, in this case, Cambridge. You gotta be top to deserve a place at the top university. The interview progressed like this:

Dr. Vis(standing at office door): You're Ivan?

Me(standing at the waiting area): Yeah. Ivan Ho Yee Man from TARCollege. (shakes Dr. Vis' hand)

Dr. Vis: Come in.

Both of us sat down and the interview started.

Dr. Vis: Your parents are ready to fork out 15k pound a year? That's not quite enough. It be tough for you to survive. Have you thought of applying any scholarships?

Me: Yeah. I realise that. And of course, I will be applying for scholarships.

Dr. Vis: What scholarships do you have in mind?

Me: A few of them, JPA-Public Service Department, Khazanah and possibly any other undergraduate scholarships I can get except Petronas.

Dr. Vis: And why is that?

Me: Because my brother is currently under Petronas scholarship and apparently they have this rule that it is only possible for one children from the same family eligible for the scholarship.

Dr. Vis: I see... Never mind, the others will just be fine. Carry on shall we? I've read your personal statement. In your personal statement, you did really spend a lot of your time defining and explaining what is important to be a great scientist. It is quite general in a sense. You defined science as 'the studies of the environment around us'. We do study a lot on the universe and materials and so... But actually, we do study a lot on the environment within us.

A moment of silence. I was stunned for a while, panicking already.

Me: Yeah, I realised that...

Dr. Vis: I can't say you're wrong because you're explaining science in general. What are the main elements in our body?

Me: The few elements that makes up organic molecules - Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen and Nitrogen.

Dr. Vis(writing on a piece of paper): What about other elements?

Me: Sodium, Chloride, Potassium, Phosphate.

Dr. Vis: What about metals like magnesium? What do you think they are important in our body?

Me: They act as catalysts in our body for metabolic reactions. Some initiates reactions.

Dr. Vis: Obviously, Oxygen is very important to us. How much oxygen is in the air?

Me: Around 21-20% of the total volume of air.

Dr. Vis: The people trapped in the mine is living in a bad situation. They might die due to the lack of oxygen. If this room is sealed, how long do you think the air can last?

Me: Maybe a few hours or possibly a day.

Dr. Vis: Do you think you can calculate how many GRAMS of oxygen in this room?

Me: Yes. That is possible.

Dr. Vis: Show me how. (Pulls out a piece of paper and pen) You can write on this while you explain.

Me: Okay. (Write down stuff) First, we have to calculate the volume of air in this room. (Rough calculation).

Dr. Vis: And how does that lead you to get your answer? Why you're using cm instead of m?

Me: I can change the cm to m later. By getting the volume of air in this room times the percentage of oxygen in the air, I can get the volume of oxygen in this room.

Dr. Vis: But I'm asking for GRAMS of oxygen.

Me: We can use the volume of oxygen to divide the standard gas volume. Then times the answer with the molecular mass of oxygen.

Dr. Vis: How much is the standard gas volume in this room?

Me: Since we are at room temperature, the standard gas volume should be 24.0 dm3.

Dr. Vis(Pointing at plant beside door): Do you think that plant over there can help us?

Me: Yes, of course. It takes in carbon dioxide and produces oxygen.

Dr. Vis: Describe the mechanism of food synthesis.

Me: Can I have a minute? I need to write down the process before explaining.

Dr. Vis: Go ahead.

Me: Map down process: uv > photolysis > H + OH + e- > reaction centre > ETC > ATP produced > Calvin cycle > starch = food.

Dr. Vis: What other things do you think light is important to plants?

Me: Light gives plant their colour.

Dr. Vis: Why is that important?

Me: The colour of an object is the light reflected by the object where the other spectrum are absorbed by the object. In the case of plant, it absorbs mainly red and blue spectrum.

Dr. Vis: Does that help the plant?

Me: Yes, different light spectrum have different energy value. Plants absorb the blue and red spectrum which have high energy value to produce chemical energy.

Dr. Vis: What do you think about photo-tropism?

Me(blurred): The conversion of chemical energy from light energy.

Dr. Vis: But that is food synthesis.

Moment of silence as I'm trying to figure out an answer, totally blanked.

Dr. Vis: Why do you think plants grow toward light?

Me: Because they want to get more light for photosynthesis?

Dr. Vis: That is desire. You are saying plants have desire? Why plants react to light? Plants are very curious. Some flowers even faces the sun whenever it changes position. Why is that?

=.="... Zha dou already. Plants can't have desire but can be curious?

Me(came out with answer): Light from the sun is used to produce energy. This energy will be used for processes in the plant. The energy is used for growth. The part of plant that faces light produce more energy. So, the part that faces light will grow more. That's why the plant grow towards light.

Dr. Vis: In the mine oxygen can only sip through cracks that leads to outside. They have to bore a hole if there are no cracks to allow oxygen into the mine. Apart from oxygen, what do you think is important for the miners if they are trapped under the mine? Obviously they need food and clean water. What else?

Me: Light.

Dr. Vis: Why light is important?

Me: To allow them to see? To keep them sane.

Dr Vis: How light allows us to see? Describe the mechanism.

Me: When light falls on an object, it is reflected according to the shape of the object. The light then falls on the retina and is inverted. (talking halfway)

Dr. Vis: Do you think pigments are important in the mechanism?

Me: Yes.

Dr. Vis: Besides allowing animals to see, why do you think light is important?

Me: It allows the animal to know when to be sleep and when to wake up?

Dr. Vis: You are saying the rhythmic life of animals? Any others?

Me: Yeah, rhythmic life, thats the word. Erm... I can't think of any others.

Dr. Vis: Light is also important in reproduction. Some animals will only reproduce in presence of light.

Me: Oh, okay...

Dr. Vis: We are done with Biological Science. Lets move on to Physical Science.

OMG, he is asking me a freaking physics question??? Worst thing - I've to keep a calm face. T.T

Dr. Vis: Define RADIOACTIVITY.

Me(thinking hard): The energy emitted by an radioactive substance that either be felt or not by living organisms.

Dr. Vis: Name me an radioactive substance.

Me(first thing in mind): Rubidium.

Dr. Vis: Lets take an easier example. Do you think carbon have an isotope?

Me: Yes, carbon-12 and carbon-14.

Dr. Vis: Do you think carbon-14 will decay?

Me: Yes, it will decay to carbon-12.

Dr. Vis: How long do you think carbon-14 takes to decay?

Me(tembak): Probably a few minutes, just enough for an MRI scan.

Dr.Vis: Do you think you can get the age of a carbon?

Me: Yes. By using carbon dating.

Dr. Vis: Carbon dating? Can you describe the process?

Me: Researchers over the years have done many experiments on carbon and have results on that. We can check the radioactivity of the unknown carbon then compare it with the data that the scientists have. That can tell us the exact year of the unknown carbon.

Dr. Vis: Interesting.

What the heck? Did I just said anything wrong? Feeling like a leaf.

Dr. Vis: Do you think you can draw a graph of radioactivity?

Me: Yes. (Draws graph)

Dr. Vis: Can you represent the radioactivity and time algebraically on the graph?

Huh? What's that? Try la, try la.

Me: Wrote R to represent radioactivity and T to represent time.

Dr. Vis(pointing on line) : Do the graph touches the x-axis?

Me: No.

Dr. Vis: Why?

Me: Because the radioactivity will not drop to zero.

Dr. Vis: And the y-axis?

Me: No, because we do not know the initial radioactivity.

Dr. Vis: Can you express radioactivity with a mathematical term?

Me: Yes, using the radio decay formula.

Dr. Vis: But that is radio decay formula. Never mind, show me the formula.

Okay.... I'm dead...

Me(wrote a few terms): It is roughly like this. (its the wrong formula, I know) I've not study on this yet.

Dr. Vis: Yes. You are having your written test tomorrow. Make sure you're ready for it. Any more questions?

Me(making a cover story): Yeah, Dr., I was wondering how anti-viral drugs work.

Dr. Vis: I'm not a biologist but I can roughly give you a picture of what it does. The anti-viral drugs inhibit certain processes of the virus so that it will not be expressed.

Me: Oh, I see. Can it really cure HIV?

Dr. Vis: We don't have the cure for common cold.

Me: Oh, then what can we do about viruses?

Dr. Vis: They are very few anti-viral drugs now. The scientists are working on it but I thnik the only thing that we can really do now is just to improve our immune system.

Me: Okay. For example like HIV, can we like take out the retro-virus out of the virus shell and introduce the empty shell to the body so that our body will produce antibodies against the virus. So when the virus gets into the body, the antibodies will destroy them?

Dr. Vis: Yeah, that is quite possible. Anything else?

Me: No, thats all. Thank you for your time, Dr. Vis.

Stands up and give Dr. Vis another hand shake.

Woot!!! Hopefully my cover story manage to pull a few marks into my interview. =D

The interview is really exciting.

It was a great experience and hopefully, what I've said is good enough. The conversation above might make me sound convincing minus the expressions. The thing is, I was really panicking during the whole process and sounded quite unconvincing...

Chris and I managed to meet up with Xuan Lin and Richard.

Both are our friends in Benum Hill Resort NS camp. All of us are pretty much the same except Rich and I have longer hair. Xuan is still the short girl I know from camp. And both of them are university students... Jealous... =( We catch up with the good old days and shared stories.

The next day I had my written test.

Cambridge Admission Written Test

Date: 23rd October 2010 (Saturday)

Venue: Sunway College, Multi Purpose Hall (MPH)

Time: 12.00 p.m.

At first, I thought of wearing jeans and casual wear for the test.

But first thing in mind: FIRST IMPRESSION.

Wearing casually might be an insult to the test. So, I took the slacks and wear it with a purple semi-formal shirt (Which Kelvin said looked more like clubbing shirt). I was afraid I would be the odd-ball if I wore casual. Guess again... I was the odd-ball for wearing formally... Only a few people wear formal attire. =..="... Alright!!! Yay!!! LOL...

The written test was okay I think.

We had our first 1 hour 30 minutes spent on doing the Thinking Skills Assessment (TSA) which is similar to critical thinking skills but slightly above that. Most of us did not have enough time to finish and are forced to guess like 10 questions in the last 10 minutes. Initially I thought I were the only one that did badly. I met Saiful, Wai Choon(he cheated me by saying he didn't get the interview.. >,<) and Wei Han there. And they all can't finish the TSA in time.

Then, the next 30 minutes were spent on essay.

The essay questions given depends on our choice of course. In my case, its Biological Natural Science. Saiful are applying for Econs, Wai Choon aiming Chemical Engineering through Natural Science whilst Wei Han going for Engineering. Each having a field of his own I would say. My essay was quite short and direct compared to many of them. Some even wrote 3 pages of essay in 30 minutes. I use mechanical pencil, they must have mechanical arms. =P

Oh, and guys,

Cambridge is not just for the brainy, geeky and nerdy. There are many cool looking guys and pretty girls in the hall taking the written test. Life is not all boring at Cambridge I guess... Seriously wanna get into Cambridge... Hopefully the ang mo gives me a green light! =DDD

Update

Yep, I realised that this bloggie's dead for the past one month.

Can't blame me, blame those freaking diploma guys/girls who never sleeps and lepak at the canteen grabbing all the line available plus the freaking exam is nearing (like real NEAR).

But guess I'll update it anyways.

If not, Kayu gonna complain. =P

I just gotta mention you, bro. And I'm not gay. Chibi either. He got gf already(which makes me damn sad). Cho's dealing with STPM. The other guy in Melacca too busy BEATing RICE. Go Russia find Sean or Gou Lou at US. LOL...

The following 5 weeks gonna be mad tough.

Luckily I'm not normal either. Besides, I'm officially owled. Sleeps in the morning wake up at 4pm, DAILY. Guess what, my roommate got owled too(yeah, the guy with good boy look that tells you "I gotta sleep at 11pm"). Probably because of me. Bad influnce. Tsk tsk.

Lets just hope that I'll do fine in the exam and hopefully get my plan working.

See ya, peeps! =D

Outing~!

Finally!

An outing with my high school buddies.

A few of them is missing - Kayu, Cho, Sean, Kelvin.. We went to watch Resident Evil 4 which I'm quite lost with the plots (after all, RS3, 2 and 1 was produced way too long ago). Seth said it was totally different from the game and I've no idea. One thing I'm sure of, the girls totally don't like it - too much killing, little story and all bloody.

We went to Sungai Pahang walkway after the movie.

The next day, or I should say 1 and 1/2 hour after the movie, is actually Li Ann and Jamie's birthday. We made a last minute plan to buy a cake and give them a surprise celebration but all the bakeries are closed. Anyhow, we did sing birthday song and gave them a little gift.

Hanged around the walkway till 12.30am and went back.

It was real fun to get everyone (not exactly all) to hang out.

We're all wacky and weird but sane. =D

All of us gonna miss gou lou because he'll be leaving us soon.

*the posers*

have no idea when we'll be having such outing again...

Uni Uni Uni

What a hectic week!!

The time has finally come for me to decide which Uni to apply for.

I didn't realise that it would be so difficult to apply for Uni. Since I wanna study in UK, I gotta apply through UCAS. It was suppose to be easy to apply. Just follow the guidelines and voila, application sent!

Well, that is if you've time that is.

I was asked to complete everything, including writting my personal statement, find a referee to write a reference, research on the course and Uni I wanna apply for and submit everything in 3 days! It took me the whole night to plan and write my ps draft. T__T

Luckily I've got guidance from my bro, Kelvin and counsellor.

Could've imagine how clueless I would be without their help. Thanks to my bro, I manage to finish pretty much everything except my ps (which needs a lil bit of tweaking) and my reference. Once done, I'm a free man again. I wish...

A2 trials is coming and I'm sitting for 4 Physics papers.

Why I take physics?? T__T

Luckily other subjects are all cool. Should brush up my maths though.

Doing it Right... In the Wrong way!

I'm seriously in to set the score straight with my A-level.

Imma re-sit Physics, work my ass on Bio, and study like mad.

Mad is probably the most appropriate word to describe my life now...

Waking up at 7.35am every morning,

go college at 8am,

attend class till 2-3pm,

study at library/ citc till 4-5pm,

go back hostel and sleep till 7-8pm,

eat dinner, bath, etc then back to hostel do tutorials till 2-3am.

Sometimes imsonia till 4am.

My average sleep time is about 5 hours a day...

I've hanged my basketball shoes for the better...

Play maximum 3 hours of Football Manager (hey, I gotta release stress somehow)

Set a minimum of one past year to be done per day...

Sounds like a freaking geek?

I think so...

But considering the reciprocal, I'm doing everything right!

There'll be no room for Bs or anything below A now...

4 A* will be within grasp if I continue to push myself this way...

There are a few side effects too...

I'm worned out due to lack of sleep (not that I don't want but somehow, I just can't sleep),

my body aches because I've given up on exercising (that's what happen when an active person stop doing exercises right?),

And I'm pretty tensed up...

Like the title suggests,

I'm doing it right but in the wrong way...

ps: Who cares if its the right or wrong way? As long as it is the way to acchive what I'm aiming, that is my way!

ArSe Result

The day that I've waited so eagerly for the past 2 months had finally came.

My AS result was out last last Friday...

Biology - a

Chemistry - a

Physics - b

Mathematics - a

General Papers - b

Worst still, I've gotten my breakdown last Friday.

Bio - AAC

Chem - AAA

Phy - ACA

Maths - AA

Bio was quite expected as I've totally flunked my paper 3. Physics paper 2 was the killer. Initially, I thought that I've got CBA, BAB or CAB. But freaking yes la. I've got a freaking C for paper 2!! Any results ranging from AAC, CAA, ABB, BAB, BBA or BAB could have been an a!!!

The final blow was just about 2 hours ago..

Ms. Tong came in and showed us the threshold mark for all Physics paper.

The threshold for paper 2?

A - 32, B -28, and the following grades are all 4 marks away.

The total mark is 60.

For that instance, this is what that went through my brain just now:

"You fucking retard! You can't even get half of the mark for your fucking paper 2! What the fuck is wrong with that fucking brain of yours?"

I've no idea whether to laugh my ass out or jump down the river...

Just like SPM, I've flopped... AGAIN...

Is it me or my life had always been like the 'lebih kurang' state?

I'm always in the "so close yet so far" situation. I've told myself over and over again - I'm just not giving 100% on studying. Hell, I did.. Seriously... I've given my best and still, I'm a major let down.

Probably for anyone in my class who got my result would be seraphically happy.

Well, that is for them. Each person who congratulate me is equivalent to a kick in the backside. Sound arrogant eh? Guess that's just me. I'm not some holy man who accepts what comes in place nor I'm a optimist who sees everything on the brighter side.

5 more days...

Damn...

AS result gonna be out in another 5 days...

Eh, nono...

Should be in another 4 days (Since its 2.35am in the morning).

Man, really gan jiong. I was dreaming bout it the other day but I've forgotten what I got. LOL.

With A2 nearing and the result coming out, Mr.Insomnia is back for a visit.

Its really hard to sleep unless I tire myself very very much with playing sports. There's a price to pay though. My body is aching like hell and I'm darn tired even during class.

Looking at the A2 syllabus,

there are loads of stuff to remember, understand and practice. Kinda worried whether there's enough time or not. The other classes seem so much faster than us.

Damn damn damn...

Future?

Well, its been quite some time since the last time I've updated this blog.

I've been busy or rather lazy to update.

Anyhow, the past one months have been quite unproductive.

First, the world cup have taken a toll on my studies and yeah, my test was during WC. So, I've screwed up my test.

For the first time ever, I failed.

Failed in Chem and Bio - both subjects which I've been on the top for the past 3 tests. Epic flop(just like Rooney in WC).

I can't blame the WC as the sole reason. I must admit that I've slacked off very much.

I've decided to start anew.

Get a balanced, healthy life - study regularly, play some sports, eat more and get adequate sleep. All are easy to except the last. I've a severe sleep disorder which drains the life out of me. Every night, I found it very difficult for me to sleep. After all, when I'm awake, I can keep myself occupied with activities and nullifies my consciousness.

When I close my eyes at night, images of the future cloaks my mind.

I'm beginning to fear what might happen in the future. The prospects of growing up seems crude and vigor.

Everyone seems to have decided on their future.

Just yesterday, I was waiting for the bus at the bus terminal and saw Sean. It was a pleasant surprise to see my best-est friend and to know that he's doing well - studying Russian language and going Russia in September to study medics. Wei Shan on the other hand is going to US. Me? Still stuck here and not knowing what to do. =\

A day around KL~

The original plan includes Chibi, Jun Yee, Lou Hang aka Xin Yi and me.

But then...

Somebody have gotta go back to Kuantan,

leaving only 3 of us...

We were SUPPOSE to meet at KLCC at 11am.

And so, I left my hostel at 9.55am, took metro bus to Wangsa Maju LRT station and took the train to KLCC as smooth as planned.

I've even reach earlier than expected - at 10.30am.

So, I took a stroll around KLCC, hoping to find the Spain football team official jersey-which is out of stock as expected...

Jun Yee reach around 15 minutes later.

We walked around to burn the time off waiting for Chibi then we decided to walk to Pavilion since he's not even near KL Central.

The way from KLCC to Pav was suppose to be a straight road but I've led Jun Yee through a detour on halfway down the journey (okay, I gotta admit that I'm not good with roads).

I was determined to find the Spain jersey...

But once again, I makan "bak guo"... T.T

Yet to give up, we went all the way to Times Square for the same reason.

(yeah, kesian Jun Yee for walking with me all the way but hey, that's exercise! good for health! =P)

Training kits, training kits and more training kits...

That's all I can find...

Chibi called us when we were walking around TS.

The conversation was more or less like this:

Chibi: Ivan, we meet at where?

Me: Don't go KLCC, come TS.

Chibi: How to go?

Me: Use monorail...

Chibi: Har? Is it same as KTM?

Me: .... (speechless) something like that lar...

*pass phone to Jun Yee*

Jun Yee told him how to go to the monorail from KL Central train station.

10 mins later, Chibi called again...

Chibi: Eh, the monorail that road got Public Bank?

Jun Yee & Me: Not sure wor...

Chibi: I dunno where am I leh...

Me: You go back to KL Central and wait...

Jun Yee and I went to KL Central via monorail to find Chibi.

Upon reaching, we realised that the public bank is less then 50m away from the station-which makes the station pretty obvious.

First guess, Chibi dunno what is monorail. =x

And...

That's a correct guess.

We decided to go to Midvalley because the monorail station was cramped with people. (I didn't know Usher's coming to town at Pav-major regret)

So, we took KTM to Midvalley-second major regret...

The cinema queue was like 5 rows of zig zags and half way around the court(the hole we can see downstairs).

Took us 45 mins to just buy 3 movie tickets. Man, I'm so gonna apply for the UOB card just for cinema use...

We watched A Legend Was Born: Ip Man.

Cool movie overall. Lotsa action, very little talking. Typical kung fu movie with many questionable plots.

We stayed at Midvalley till 5something before going back to KL Central.

We departed there and went 3 separate ways.

By the way, Midvalley still have Spain jerseys (only 2) but both also XL... T___T

Now I regret being so thin and short... X_x

Overall, the day was really nice. Especially going out with old friends like those 2.

A moment to cherish~

The guy who took the photo no skill... =(

Ian Rush

He's a football legend...

But not in MU...

He's directly opposite...

.

..

...

....

His name?

IAN RUSH~

Rings a bell?

Probably for all those Liverpool fans out there.

He is...

Really tall...

Really old...

Really macho...

And...

I don't really understand his English... T.T

Took pic with him^^

Laziness

Was suppose to update this blog like long time ago but I'm feeling lazy...

NEXT TIME LAR.. =P

Done With AS

Finally!!!
Feel like blogging...
(actually I'm too bored and have nothing to do)
Anyhow, it was awesome that I've survived the 5 hellish weeks...
Yup, I'm done with AS!!! Never mind what the result might be.

The exam already taken away one week of my break...
Its quite a fortune in a sense - I'm already rotting at home. So much for enjoying my break... The Last Minute Gang is all separated and most of them is studying. Even basketball have not enough kaki. =\ But still, it is good to get myself out of hectic, heart of the country and just slow down my pace back in Kuantan (the smell of home and the sea help me to chill).

Many things happened in that 5 weeks.
Its a love-hate affair throughout that time... I'm proud enough to say that I've given my best shot. At the same time, I've seen many many things during this period of time - people, event, relationship, etc. Like the old saying "you lose something, you gain something". I've gain tons in terms of knowledge (I don't suck that much in Physics!), friendship (Kev, Jian, Larry, Chee and Peng Keat are there to cheer me up) and know a lil bit more about life - we've to move on when we realise what is possible and what is not. At the same time, I've gotten to know people around me much better - the TRUE person in some of my friends.

Right now, I've a serious thing to do - adjust my biological clock back to normal.
I've been nocturnal throughout that 5 weeks. Many sleepless nights which sometimes lead to conversation between me and Jian. He's been really supportive on my every plan and decision. But with the football fever on, how am I suppose to sleep early??? T__T
Besides, I've gotta stop my late night supper habit... Same goes to pool... Wasted a large sum of my pocket money on both of that... =(

ps: anyone in Kuantan wanna go out???

Just a little more...

I'm really tired and congested with exams...

Its choking me up.

Another two weeks and I'm done with it.

It seems short but time passes by really slow...

Every second kills...

Its not a matter of pushing myself or not.

Its about how long can I go on with this.

Nobody understands me, including myself.

This SUCKS.

It really do.

I keep telling myself: Just a little more...

Truth be told, I'm nearing my limits...

Perhaps that little more will be more than enough to topple me.

Soaring the Skies

I've spread my wings, running down the tracks and off the edge to soar above the clear blue sky...

Looking down at bird eye's view, a question came in mind - am I really flying or plummeting towards the grounds below?

There's an old saying, the higher you go, the harder you'll fall.

I'm aiming for the highest.

Will that make my fall the hardest?

It was a choice that I've made.

Now that I'm at airborne, there's nothing left to worry.

I will not close my eyes in fear of the fall and I will proudly say: at least I've tried.

Its a risk worth taking and I've nothing to lose.

A person who have nothing to lose is as good as a hungry lion.

If I'm going to succeed, there's a chance to say "hi!" to the eagles.

"Flying is no longer a dream, a dream is no longer a fantasy, a fantasy is no longer unachievable"

Stressed Out

I might not look exactly like that cat...

But somehow, somewhat and someway I'm pretty sure that I'm stressed out...

Its been the 4th day since I've not been sleeping well...

Each night when I decide to head for bed, my brains went blank and all I do is stare at the ceiling. I've tried to stuff the earphone in my ears and blast my way to sleep - an effective way during the last semester. But it never work this time.

My inability to contain my temper is getting worst and is beginning to affect my life...

Just last evening, I've almost got myself into fight during basketball - a sport that I love and channels all my frustration towards the game. The match was intense and like always, I hate to play rough and it happens that the guy I'm guarding exploited that. As my frustration build up (due to the number of wasted opportunities and my teammate's solo play) the guy exceeded my limit by continually hitting my back. I've gave him a taste of my serious defence and in turn, he got frustrated with me. We were all cool after the match though.

Desperately in need of some anger management advice now...

Impatience tags along with temper.

And I'm growingly impatient about things around me.

Its a flaw that I never manage to repair.

Worst still, there's nobody to talk to...

I just wish somebody, anybody would have text me and ask "how are you?".

With half the battle lying ahead, I'm starting to show congestion - both physically and mentally.

My hope and dreams are in my hands. I can't afford to screw up my life once again. Swim or sink, do or die. Gotta get myself through even if it means getting myself battered and exhausted. Screw my health. I'll have one shot left.

I don't know what to study

This is exactly how I feel when it comes to studying Physics...

LOL...

CHEE

Q: What's your fav food?

A: CHEE-ken

Q: What's your fav drink?

A: CHEE-ncau

Q: What's your fav dessert?

A: Lai CHEE kang

Q: Name one fruit.

A: Lai CHEE

Q: What will you get when you ferment cow's milk?

A: CHEE-se

Q: What will you get when you make prawn brains into a paste?

A: CHEE-n cha lok

Q: What's your race?

A: CHEE-na

Q: When someone provoke you, what would you say?

A: CHEE-s!

Q: When you're comforting someone, what's the first words you'll say?

A: Hey, CHEE-l lar!

Q: Who won the FA Cup and EPL?

A: CHEE-l-sea

Q: Which basketball team did MJ played for?

A: CHEE-chago Bulls

Q: Which CHEE is the best?

A: Esther CHEE Yuen Teng

Happy Birthday to my fav CHEE!!!

Its your turn to be OLD and flabby, Esther CHEE!

I can't f**king SLEEP!!!

As the day creeps nearer and nearer,

my sleeping time becomes more and more irregular.

There are times that I seem to be chilling.

And times that I seem to be confident.

Deep beneath,

I am trying to tell myself this;

"It is okay, you'll do fine."

Self-comforting, in other words - cheating myself.

When I close my eyes, I'll be questioning myself what my future might be?

It is becoming blurrer and blurrer as thought a cloud of mist is engulfing it.

I've no where to go, no where to hide.

The day that I might take poll position ahead of Kelvin seems further and further.

There's an obvious gap, a steep gradient of prowess between us that forms an impermeable barrier that I once thought I am possible of permeating.

Theoretically, we are of the same blood and I must be capable of reaching the standard he had set for me.

"A hardworking student is as good as a lazy genius. Imagine what a hardworking genius is capable of..."

That still rings in my mind.

Perhaps I'm not half as good as Kelvin.

Thus, the rule doesn't applies.

Even if I'm able to ignore that,

another question pops in mind.

It really isn't the time but hell, I'm thinking of her quite a lot.

Heck, she's there when I feel down but for the past one month, she's been very busy with assignments, meetings, finals and camp.

I've no one to talk to.

After all, I must play the usual Mr.Chilling at college.

I must admit I misses her and have been seriously thinking about the next move.

The ramification, however, is almost 99.9% catastrophic.

I must be stupid to do anything dumb now.

All the things playing in my mind is really excruciating.

I've been trying to sleep but it was in vain.

Nothing can stop me from thinking.

Perhaps I should take on the simplest method - bang my head against the wall and hope that I can collapse without leaving a hemorrhage.

I've not given up though - in everything.

Its a path of no regrets.

Outtablogpost

This blog will be dead for May/June due to the coming AS exam.

Will be posting all the events during this time frame after the exam.

In the mean time, gotta study and work harder to get straight As.

By the way, I'm just 1 mark short of the top Bio spot.

Its a racemix of happiness and sadness.

Anyhow, wish me luck!

Back on TRAX~

Finally!

The study is back yo!

Its kinda late but its better to be late then never!

x)

And...

I've decided to put my basketball shoes in the closet for good this time - well, at least till the end of AS.

The quest to get back this feel is not easy at all...

First, you have to endure the lust for relaxation...

Then, you must reduce your playfulness...

Forget about the fun of basketball...

And make your way to weave a cocoon - like a worm, preferably book worm.

The few contributing things/events are:

1) The official results for Mid-course/ trials are out - My results sucks...

2) I've wasted too much time - feel bad about that...

3) My friend asked me a few maths questions and I failed to answer - completely forgotten everything...

4) I went to play pool with some friends - reminds me of my past.

No.4 was the main factor.

When I was playing pool, it was a flashback - of the drastic ups and downs in my 19-years of life. It reminds me of the club house that dad use to own. Yeah, I was born with a silver spoon. But things change as time go on... Completely changed my life and how I value my life. When you're on the zenith, everyone will "polish" your shoes. Once you plunge into hell, every person will turn off your pledge. Ever since then, I've been telling myself to prove a point in life that I don't need help from anyone - by studying hard. I'm half way there but was trailing a few laps.

Now is the time to push everything aside. Time to ROCK and ROLL baby!

Hidden stress?

Monday was a day wasted at college.

This is due to the launching of the water fountain at our SPUS H-block. It was suppose to be a go-green thing. But in my opinion, its a waste of time, effort, and money - our money. Besides, why need an artificial pond as a go-green project? I'm not against landscaping or tree-growing. The main point is - its artificial. What's the fuss? =..="...

Once again, aren't there any good speaker in the house?

Of all the people, Gabriel (not as you've probably imagine - the 6-feet tall, wingless angle that protects the mother of the next saviour of mankind in the movie) was chosen as the master of ceremony (MC). His level of LAMEness is what Pak Cik Loh will label as MONUMENTAL MORON. Quote of the day from Gabe: I will block the wind from blowing the balloons/ I will pop your balloon. That's beyond god-like weih... Should have taken a video clip of Pak Cik Loh when he said that.

But I must praise the guy who performed.

His beat-boxing skills are great even though the sound system potong steam.

Balloons and fishes was sold to the students as part of "charity".

I don't see where that is going. Anyhow, at the peak of the ceremony, the fishes were to be let off into the pond and those who bought the balloons were suppose to let the helium-filled rubber to fly off to the sky... For your knowledge, a fish costs 5bucks while the balloons are 2bucks each. You buy em and let em go just like that... COOL STORY, bro! (Learnt that from Terence =D)

The evening was okay.

Well, sort of...

Cause I went for basketball with the rest. I wouldn't say that it was time wasting like some people would say. If you think that playing basketball is time wasting, why don't you just go and be a friggin lifeless bookworm? It is one of the many things that help you get healthier - physically and mentally. One thing is quite concerning though, my temper is starting to build up. Time to cut the temper before its too late.

Dinner was nothing short of COOLness.

With Ter around, anything story can be a cool one - like the ones his grandmother tells. Ter and Mei Yan was studying at the library and bumped into us when they were leaving. Then we had dinner together. Its the first time the people from B, C, E, and H to eat together. We had fun and shared many COOL STORIES.

After dinner, we went back hostel.

I was stoning the whole night after bath. Feeling really bad after I've talked with mom through the phone. I've talked to her with a heavy tone after she started to nag me for not answering dad's call during dinner. I was wrong for not realising but mom was a bit exaggerated. But still, its not right for me to do that... So, SORRY MOM! Was in a bad mood at that time... I really don't know why... Perhaps its hidden stress? Starting to show its streak?

New Blog: Having A Say

I've just started another blog yesterday.

Everyone would probably ask me why wanna have so many blogs.

Well, this blog is for posting things that happen in my daily life including random stuffs.

The new blog, however, is for me to express my thoughts on interesting topics.

Things that most of my friends would have probably ignore or would say I'm sick if I talk to them about it.

Thus, the birth of the new blog: Having A Say

The URL: http://havingasay91.blogspot.com/

In this blog, you'll be able to see my serious side.

I'll use the blog to improve my language and also increase my level of maturity.

The topics included sports, politics, education, and many more.

Feel free to drop by!

Sick, Bored, Mood-less = Never study

Well, AS is just 3 weeks away...

And...

I've yet start studying (otherwise I won't be sitting here and blogging my time off)...

To be frank, I've no idea what there are for me to study...

I mean, if its revising, yes, there are much to do.

Study, I've gone through all my notes so many times till I've lost count.

Each time I go through the notes, I'll be like clicking the REFRESH button.

Besides, I'm beginning to feel kinda guilty for skipping classes.

Yup, skip class...

Not very typical of me but I've did it...

For the sake of sleeping.

I was hit by some unknown, new-strand of flu like symptom plus ulcers, sore throat, cough and headache.

No worries, its not HINI.

Guess its just what the old people often say,

I've been eating too much "heaty" food - Mamak, malay food, fast food, bak kut teh, etc.

All those heat sums up and I've became "overheated" just like a radiator.

Heck...

Luckily all is reduced to an ulcer and minor sore throat.

The whole week passed by rather quick.

Or should I say, time passes real quick when you sleep?

I've slept 50% of the week away.

I don't know why and how I can sleep for 12 hours a day yet feeling sleepy all the time.

I've even got lazy of playing basketball.

Perhaps my sub-consciousness is telling my brain that I should rest for a week before going full steam ahead?

I barely studied anything this week.

Except for going through the 03 October/November Bio Papers and a few Chem Paper 1.

Maths, Physics and GP - none.

Guess this is the time for me to beef up all the subjects.

I'm Piggie-fied

Yup, you've not mistaken the title.

I'm indeed Piggie-fied.

This is how the story goes...

It was a boring Wednesday (I mean yesterday)...

I happen to have Bio first in the morning and as usual, Mr.Foo's voice is such a lullaby.

Then came Physics practical and to be frank, I'm not a big fan(to Physics).

Supposedly, I've class 1/2 hour after the practical.

Guess what?

I skipped Applied, Pure and Chem!!!

Wasn't proud of it but still, yeah, I did it.

For the sake of sleeping.

After all, I'm kinda sick okay?

(making a lame excuse, the sick part is true though)

And so, I went back to hostel...

Changed my clothes and hit the bed.

Slept at 1pm...

Woke up at 5pm...

Went for dinner at 7pm...

Came back, studied 5 Chapters of Bio...

(It might sound alot but I can do better if I want to)

And...

Fall asleep at 10pm...

My deep slumber ends only at 8.20am this morning...

I've spent more than 1/2 a day sleeping!

I'm such a PIG now....

=\

Not Feeling Right

This week, I've randomly decided to come back home.

Home as in the Kuantan-home (I consider TARC hostel my 2nd home).

And its not the best of ideas.

Most of the time, I feel more comfortable at my 2nd home.

Perhaps I've fully adapted to live on my own and have my own time.

I've fallen in love with the freedom I've gotten for living away from home, away from my family and away from Kuantan.

At home, not having a SMALL problem is a BIG problem.

Having a BIG problem is a DISASTROUS problem.

And...

And....

And.....

NO problem is a CATASTROPHIC problem.

In short, there is a constant degree of PROBLEM at home.

At TARC, ANY problem is NOT a problem when IT CAN BE SOLVED.

Beside, being at home means I must be the one who WAITS...

And DEFINITELY not the one who are being WAITED...

E.g. Case 1: Dad go work, me wait dad come back at 6.45pm for dinner at 7 something. Me good boy.

Case 2: Dad go work, me go basketball, I come back at 7pm for dinner at 7 something. Me bad boy.

At TARC, I don't need to give a damn.

I can:

1) Sleep till 8pm then only eat.

2) Play basketball whenever I want.

3) Go where ever I want without any restriction.

Anyhow, Kuantan is still my home...

My family is here...

I was born here...

I grew up here...

Had my early education here...

Met my closest friends here...

Met her here...

Its almost everything to me...

And I misses this place.

To sum things up, I'm not feeling right here or there.

Is there a place for me???