ArSe Result

The day that I've waited so eagerly for the past 2 months had finally came.

My AS result was out last last Friday...

Biology - a

Chemistry - a

Physics - b

Mathematics - a

General Papers - b

Worst still, I've gotten my breakdown last Friday.

Bio - AAC

Chem - AAA

Phy - ACA

Maths - AA

Bio was quite expected as I've totally flunked my paper 3. Physics paper 2 was the killer. Initially, I thought that I've got CBA, BAB or CAB. But freaking yes la. I've got a freaking C for paper 2!! Any results ranging from AAC, CAA, ABB, BAB, BBA or BAB could have been an a!!!

The final blow was just about 2 hours ago..

Ms. Tong came in and showed us the threshold mark for all Physics paper.

The threshold for paper 2?

A - 32, B -28, and the following grades are all 4 marks away.

The total mark is 60.

For that instance, this is what that went through my brain just now:

"You fucking retard! You can't even get half of the mark for your fucking paper 2! What the fuck is wrong with that fucking brain of yours?"

I've no idea whether to laugh my ass out or jump down the river...

Just like SPM, I've flopped... AGAIN...

Is it me or my life had always been like the 'lebih kurang' state?

I'm always in the "so close yet so far" situation. I've told myself over and over again - I'm just not giving 100% on studying. Hell, I did.. Seriously... I've given my best and still, I'm a major let down.

Probably for anyone in my class who got my result would be seraphically happy.

Well, that is for them. Each person who congratulate me is equivalent to a kick in the backside. Sound arrogant eh? Guess that's just me. I'm not some holy man who accepts what comes in place nor I'm a optimist who sees everything on the brighter side.