Monday, October 15, 2012


Totally forgotten my first aid skills today
when there was a guy who had epilepsy at cafeteria C. Was chatting with JS and suddenly heard a loud dropping sound. A guy went down on the floor and everyone just looking at him in shock. Went over to see him and saw signs of epilepsy, e.g. struggling, shaking, eyes open wide with pupil looking up and he started to frown. I was freaking out.

Only remem
bered one rule: Get help quick or he dies.

First thing came in mind;
Run to the Department of Safety and Security to get an officer to send the poor fella to the clinic.

The following action;
Carried the patient into UTAR clinic together with Cjs Js, Leon Gautier and another passer-by.

In the clinic;
 Noob doctor asked me what happened when he should be able to determine the patient is having epilepsy and the clinic didn't not have any medication to inject the poor fella.

He was sent to the hospital and I wonder how he is doing now. Hopes that he is okay.

It made me miss those days.
The days where I wear my St.John uniform with pride.
It was all but gone.

At least I don't need to be a St.Johner to help the patient today.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Past One Year

Days have pass and months have gone..
How was your life the past one year?
Approximately one year ago, I was at JPA office, Cyberjaya.
With hopes that my dream of studying in UCL can somehow be fulfilled. At that very day, my dream was taken away and reality have taught me not to dream big. But the dream didn't not end there. I was given the slightest of hope - a defer. Another one year time to fulfil my dream.

One year have past since that day.
The dream have officially died out a few days ago where I have no choice but to decline the offer of my lifetime remorsefully. Once again, I am pulled away from the utopia that I am looking for. Ever further.
So, how have it been for the past one year?

Ich bin nicht traurig, aber ich bin nicht zufrieden!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

In search...

My academic performance have been declining since form 3.
At times I really want to know what had happened for the past 6 years. What had changed? I am after all, still the same Ivan Ho Yee Man. Why am I not performing even half as good? Or is it that I am deteriorating as a student?

I understand that many things happened.
My SPM result, not getting a scholarship, not getting the desired A-Level result, not getting to UCL, yadda yadda. Perhaps I am demotivated? And allowed myself to slack? Or simply because I don't enjoy studying any more?

I miss leading the pack. I miss being successful.
I miss being able to answer every question the teacher can throw at me.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Future and action?

Plan is nothing but a plan unless action is taken.
Future is not known but can be planned.
But a planned future with action taken is yet clear until time tells.

I was and still am the boy with a plan.
However, not all my plans were successful.
I.e. the girl I've once loved seems to be more like a stranger now, the institute that I've planned to study in seems like a far-reach, taking up guitar was delayed from year to year and etc.

But not all hopes are lost as I know its a fight worth fighting. 
Life itself is an uphill fight and I've yet fail. Everything happens for a reason. There are things that are not meant to be or maybe the time is not right. Now that I've entered UTAR for about 6 months. I realised there are more to life than achieving these plans. The girl I once loved may seem to be ideal but well, we will never know. But one thing I'm very sure of. There is someone that fits and that we will complement each other. And that someone have already be in my life for nearly 4 months now. Life is merrier this way.

As for studies, I've lost some of my flair and desire on that.
There are things that I do feel sour about but nonetheless, I've moved on. At least I am still given the chance to study and get a bachelor's degree. And my plan to study overseas are not lost - I still have my masters and phd. I've taken the initiatives and have gotten the offer once. Why not try harder and get it once more? I've nothing to lose right? There are plans that I have to scrape but some are worth the effort.

I keep telling myself "don't stop planning, don't give up!".

Current plans:
1. Keep a healthy relationship.
2. Get my degree with First Class Honours.
3. Get a scholarship to study at UK for my masters.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Blog Revival

Kayu suddenly posted on my Facebook wall yesterday.
"Blog dead?"
It reminded me of how long I've not updated my blog. So, bro, this one's for you!

All I could say is I procrastinate 
and have became lazier by the days since I've come to UTAR. I realised this since a few weeks ago, during my mid-term. I could have studied like I used to and score perfect marks for both Chemistry and Maths and perhaps even Biodiversity. Instead, I spent my time enjoying - Football Manager, badminton, futsal, pool, karaoke, yadda yadda. Worse still, I am chilling though my results wasn't that good. Sometimes I do ask myself, "Ivan Ho, where have you gone to?" Perhaps I am still sour over the lost opportunity to study in UCL. Need help from my psychology friends, I guess.

Okay, screw that.
Anyway, its good to know that there is still people concerned about me, at least my blog still have its no.1 fan a.k.a Ean Foo a.k.a Kayu. Its sort of a way of communication between us I guess, since we seldom meet each other and rarely have the time to talk about our lives. We're lucky we still do think of each other sometimes. Recently I've been disheartened by a friend whom I appreciate very much and whom have totally forgotten about my birthday. Well, perhaps all your studies, events and outings have made you too busy to even think about me. Or maybe I'm not even in your list of friends in the first place. I still wish you well though.

Many things have happened recently.
I'll talk about them in the next post or so. If not, Kayu could not stalk me, eh? Haha. Ciao, bro!