Thursday, April 12, 2012

In search...

My academic performance have been declining since form 3.
At times I really want to know what had happened for the past 6 years. What had changed? I am after all, still the same Ivan Ho Yee Man. Why am I not performing even half as good? Or is it that I am deteriorating as a student?

I understand that many things happened.
My SPM result, not getting a scholarship, not getting the desired A-Level result, not getting to UCL, yadda yadda. Perhaps I am demotivated? And allowed myself to slack? Or simply because I don't enjoy studying any more?

I miss leading the pack. I miss being successful.
I miss being able to answer every question the teacher can throw at me.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Future and action?

Plan is nothing but a plan unless action is taken.
Future is not known but can be planned.
But a planned future with action taken is yet clear until time tells.

I was and still am the boy with a plan.
However, not all my plans were successful.
I.e. the girl I've once loved seems to be more like a stranger now, the institute that I've planned to study in seems like a far-reach, taking up guitar was delayed from year to year and etc.

But not all hopes are lost as I know its a fight worth fighting. 
Life itself is an uphill fight and I've yet fail. Everything happens for a reason. There are things that are not meant to be or maybe the time is not right. Now that I've entered UTAR for about 6 months. I realised there are more to life than achieving these plans. The girl I once loved may seem to be ideal but well, we will never know. But one thing I'm very sure of. There is someone that fits and that we will complement each other. And that someone have already be in my life for nearly 4 months now. Life is merrier this way.

As for studies, I've lost some of my flair and desire on that.
There are things that I do feel sour about but nonetheless, I've moved on. At least I am still given the chance to study and get a bachelor's degree. And my plan to study overseas are not lost - I still have my masters and phd. I've taken the initiatives and have gotten the offer once. Why not try harder and get it once more? I've nothing to lose right? There are plans that I have to scrape but some are worth the effort.

I keep telling myself "don't stop planning, don't give up!".

Current plans:
1. Keep a healthy relationship.
2. Get my degree with First Class Honours.
3. Get a scholarship to study at UK for my masters.