Finally have time to blog..
Its been 6 days since grandpa ended his dwelling in this earthly world. The last time I was in a funeral procession was 15 years ago. Never did I anticipate myself to be in a funeral procession. Much less, my grandfather's.
In a typical Buddhist family, the funeral procession is very detailed.
There are many steps and procedure that we must follow. When I first step into the funeral parlor, I promise not to cry. Not in front of my relatives. And most importantly, my grandpa especially he is no longer here. I told myself, grandpa will never want us to cry. He is one that loves to cheer people up. Will he want to leave us crying? Thus, I did not shed a single drop of tear during the whole procession.
The whole procession took 3 days 3 nights.
Very tiring. Both mentally and physically. Spent 12-16 hours at the funeral parlor every day. I'll never complain though. It was my last few days spending time with grandpa. The only few things I can do is burning paper money, light up joss sticks, light up candle and buy food for him. When I saw him laid resting in the coffin, all I see was the man who loved me. All the negative memories are deleted from mind. I've said once; never regret for the things I've done but regret for the things that I could have done. I regret that I never treat him better when I could have.
The cremation ceremony was the worse.
I know that its the last time looking at him. Only then, I realised how much thinner he is compared to last time. He laid there peacefully. Completely with no stress and worries. It was a serene moment when I see him for the last time. I told him that I would miss him. I really do. When his coffin was pushed into the incinerator, I felt really sad. But it was his will to do so. The next day, the only thing left is his dust and his bones. White as snow. His bones was thin and his skull is really small and round.
His remains were transferred into a jade pot.
We "sent" him to the memorial park to his new "home". The place is still quite new. It was really nice and we decided to get grandpa the best place the memorial park can offer. A place in an air-conditioned room, over-seeing the whole memorial park. Perhaps he would be a little bit bored there. I can't hope for more "neighbours" staying with grandpa - that's same as wishing more people to end their journey of life. However, its the best place we can get for him. A place ideal for him to be at peace, away from all earthly trouble.
Your smile will remain in our heart.
You live as long as we have you in our heart.