Thursday, January 13, 2011


The thing about life; we don't appreciate what we have.
There were once a man who loves me very very much. He fetch me to and from school. He brings me out for tea almost everyday. He made me his special kid. He told me stories from his past. He bought toys for me. He brags about me when he talks to his friends.

But as I grow up,
I felt annoyed when he brings me out and brags whole day with his friends. I thought that he's simply wasting my time. Talking non-stop about his past; the same old stories. I was rebellious. I even walked back home when you didn't realise. Ever since, you never bring me out for tea anymore.

Up till yesterday,
He was still there. Bragging about my siblings and I. He told his friends in the hospital that Simon gonna get married and he gonna be on stage to perform, Kelvin is studying in Cambridge and will be back this June and I am going to study at England. They were all in awe, filled with envy. He was healthy and witty. Everyone sees him as a charming man. He can talk to just about anyone in the hospital from the doctors all the way to the janitors.

Today, however,
I miss the time that he would be bring me around, brag about me and talk to me. I wish that I could personally fetch him out for tea. I wish I could let him brag to his friends about me. I wish I could see his smile once more. I wish I could listen to his stories no matter how many times I listened to them. I wish he is still here. Grandpa, I miss you.

Of all the things I could've told you,
I said to you yesterday; Grandpa, don't miss me. That was the last thing I told him. I never expect you to really not miss me and "go away". I should've said I'll wait for your CNY ang pow or for my birthday present or anything as long as you come back home healthy. WTF I said don't miss me?

I still remember...
Your favourite drink; Kopi O gelas
Your favourite past time; Performing chinese opera
Your favourite story; How you saved your colleague from being crushed by lorry
Your favourite phrase (even though its obscene); TNM(you guys should now what's this)

There were once that I was handed an assignment;
History assignment on WWII - The Japanese Invasion of Malaysia. We were to interview a person who have personal experience during that period. I interviewed my grandpa. He told me every single detail he could remember. It was really really interesting. In another assignment, we were to write about a family member who had contributed to the community. Again, I wrote about grandpa. He was a police officer who had gone through many things. A righteous man who never accepted bribery. Perhaps his sense of righteousness had been a stumbling block in his career life. He was proud to be righteous though. In the end, I got an A for both assignments. I never thanked him enough.

This morning you were about to go for surgery,
I was still enjoying the comfort of sleeping on the bed. I care to call or anything. When you sent through the doors of the surgical room, I was having my plate of wantan mee. When we arrived at the hospital, you're already under the knife. We left and wandered around when you were still in the surgical room. During our journey back to the hospital, dad called. He told me that your heart rate were 108/68. That is pretty normal for an average adult. But when we arrived the second time, you were already in critical condition. I never get to speak to you for the last time. I was expecting to go with 3 person and back with 4!

All this while,
I know you are really proud of us. Telling people how smart we are. What we've achieved. How good we are in our studies. Yet, we've dismissed you all the while. Some of the time, we even argued over small matter. You've been so alone all the while. We didn't even care about that. Heck. To think of it, I was your favourite grandchild. You've done far too much for me. Yet, I was one who neglected you. What had happened the Ivan Ho that was once proud of his policeman grandpa?

To be frank,
I couldn't stop the tears from running down my cheeks writing this post.


But its all too late now..

My beloved grandfather,
Ho Kit Choon
06/03/1933 - 12/01/2011


  1. May he Rest In Peace and am sorry to hear about it. Chill Bro!

  2. Stay strong dude,he'l b proud of wat u had done..